7 Million Pennies

Forgotten

2009-07-26T08:32:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card 2 times this year. Once out of necessity, once out of pure weakness.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I have fallen prey to facebook. That is where I am spending most of my time these days. At least most of my computer time. Unless I am at work dealing with a bajillion claims from Colorado, which has seen unusually wicked storms this summer. I mean, parts of the state that don't normally get such severe hail and wind are getting them both in spades, and one area got a very unusual TORNADO. Overtime is a good thing, but I'm all full up on this particular good thing and would trade the money for ME time in a heartbeat.

Even Longer Absence

2009-07-03T18:13:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card 2 times this year. Once out of necessity, once out of pure weakness.

Spent: 84,500 pennies on new computer

Earned: 0

Banked:0

Ok, so I guess the toilet thing really DID get to me, because last week I completely blew a fuse and had a meltdown about money and then I got FURIOUS and said "F-it!" and went out and bought that new computer I have wanted for so long.

Do I regret it? In the debt sense, sure I do. In the enjoyment sense, not for a hot second. I knew this would happen eventually after all my "austere" living for the past year plus, and I can't say I am surprised. I knew it would happen eventually, and I just hoped it would be not so bad when it did. Although 84,500 pennies is a bit more than I would have hoped for a meltdown spree, I have to say that in the past, pre-Women In Red days, things were MUCH worse.

Long Absence

2009-06-18T05:57:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have used a credit card once in 2009.

Spent: 124,237 pennies to repair a plumbing issue in my sister's bathroom. :(

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Oy. My credit card is still smoking. We woke up on Monday 6/8/09 and my sister came out of her bathroom and said "There's a puddle of water by my toilet." Uh oh. So we call a plumber out and he discovers the wax ring is shot. The floor is feeling kinda weird, too. We've got sheet vinyl flooring, and even once the water was picked up it felt weird. So we determine that water from the toilet problem got up under the sheet vinyl.

So now a new wax ring and new vinyl flooring (and some antimicrobial floor treatment, new baseboards, and a day of "dryout") later, I'm out just over a thousand bucks. Since my homeowners insurance deductible was a thousand bucks I didn't bother to file this because we all know the dangers in doing that!!

Normally this throws me into a tailspin of despair....to lose so much ground. But I just can't bring myself to care. The economy is horrible. I'm lucky that this is the only problem I escaped with so far. Things could have been and could still be much worse.

The Wrench

2009-05-28T06:25:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Laughlin is probably off. My sister wound up in the hospital because she takes a blood thinning med called Coumadin and (God bless her) the idiot had not been having the mandated regular blood draws to make sure her blood wasn't getting TOO thin. So she had blood that closely resembled red water instead of the soupier consistency considered healthy and had to have a blood transfusion.

Long story short, her attendance at work is now shot and since she can't get the days off as vacation days (because they are already taken by other people), she can't call in sick due to her "unplanned" attendance record this year.

If you want to know the truth, I am angry at her. This could have been prevented if she'd done what she is supposed to do. Not to mention that I love her and was worried sick about her!
Add in that my BIRTHDAY trip is most likely off, and I am pretty darned disappointed. Well, woo freaking hoo for me. Thanks, sis. Thanks a lot!

Feelin HOT HOT HOT

2009-05-18T05:39:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 2,495 pennies on a new fan.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Man. Phoenix stinks enough every summer. Why'd we have to start to early this year? Yesterday we broke a record for # of days in May in a row over 100 degrees. Stinks! Makes me shudder to wonder what we are in for in June, July, and August!

Meanwhile, still saving for Laughlin. Nothing else new or exciting to report.

Short Term Goals

2009-05-11T05:55:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 2,715 pennies on Mother's day gift (yesterday, that is).

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

My primary short term goal is to save up for a trip to Laughlin at the end of next month. The rooms are comped again, but there's food, gas, entertainment, and a little gambling, of course.
My secondary short term goal is to finally get enough money saved for a new computer...the same one that I KEEP saving for but never seem to buy because something else always goes wrong. Not this time. I am determined, darn it!!!!

Distraction

2009-05-04T05:29:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 45,400 pennies on car payment, $5,000 pennies on dental bill

Earned: 104,575 pennies (paycheck)

Banked: 20,000 pennies

Oy. Once again, I have been away too long. I found a distraction to keep my mind off of the misery expressed in the previous post. Although I enjoy the benefits of technology, up until a few weeks ago, I stubbornly held out against the craziness of MySpace and Facebook and Twitter and such, figuring Blogger was enough. But my best friend and my sister were on Facebook and finally talked me into signing up. That was bad enough.

Then came Yoville. For the uninitiated, Yoville is like a mini Sims game, which I also previously resisted. Today, I don't really understand why I ever resisted. I have, as my best friend likes to tease, become mildly addicted. Would I stay home from work to play? No. Would I turn down invitations to go out in the REAL WORLD so I could stay home in front of a fake one? No. But if I find myself rattling around the house at night after work and nothing on TV appeals...you might just find me in Yoville posting whiny crew requests to my Facebook page.

If any of the above makes sense to you...drop me a line. Maybe we can buddy up and join one another's crew. Or if you give it another couple weeks, I might succumb to my best friend's newest request and join her "family" on Mafia Wars. As they say, LOL.

#$@&!&

2009-04-24T19:24:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 987 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Today was one of those crappy, crappy days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and can't find your rose-colored glasses. Everything went wrong. The worst thing was my iPod died. I had a 2gb nano that I LOVED. I listened to it in the car on the way to work every day. I hate radio because of the commercials and I hate CDs because my CD burner on my computer broke a long time ago and as any of you know who've been following along, I have not been successful at buying a new one because every time I try to something else eats up the money.

I am sick and tired of never having any fun money to spend. I am sick of losing things and just sick to death of life right now. I seriously feel like Jim Carey in Bruce Almighty, except unlike Bruce, I don't get the happy ending with the girl (or, boy in my case) and being happy with what you had all along. I feel exactly like he does...like (God) the Universe is shitting on me and that's all there will ever be.

I hate when I get like this, but it is what it is. It will probably pass, but when I am in this mood I don't really WANT it to pass. I want it to stay dark and miserable until something breaks and I forget the world completely.

Dark Shadows?

2009-04-23T21:30:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 767 pennies on lunch because I forgot mine on the kitchen counter.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked:0 pennies

Hmmm. Found out by a NEWS ARTICLE that my company is trying to sell off MY division!!! If that does happen, I could lose my job! Talk about panic! They say there's not any sort of offer on the table and that another possibility is that they will get money from the feds to help raise capital. I'm trying not to panic. But how do you not, reading that??!

Mi Vida Loca

2009-04-16T19:01:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I used my credit card for a $478.00 after hours electrician bill. Sigh.

Spent: 47,800 pennies on emergency after hours electrician.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

My friend is still separated from hubby. I've seen her and heard from her more in the last week than in the last two months before they broke up! And truthfully, I am loving it!!! LOL

My life, though, has been SO weird. Sunday night at like 1 a.m. I was pulled from sleep by our fire alarms going off. Not chirping like when there's a dying battery, but FULL ON SIGNALS SCREAMING. Scared the holy sh** out of me. I dashed all over the house but nothing was smoky or hot or burning. Then they stopped as suddenly as they started. THEN the chirping began in one bedroom. So I grabbed a battery and the stepladder and went to change it out. But I couldn't get the battery door open. Then the tab to the battery door BROKE OFF.

Well, we couldn't sleep with that going on, so we had to call an emergency electrician, who changed out all 5 alarms and charged HUGE money for the after hours call. He left at 4 a.m. Luckily, I had the day off, anyway, but my sister didn't. She called off because she only got a few hours sleep.

Then today my sister calls me at work (she's normally off on Thursdays) to tell me someone left our hose on out front. We don't ever use it, and I only just hooked up a new hose last week for some yard work. I arrived home one day last year to find two Mexican teens helping themselves to a drink from my hose. No big deal, really, except HOW RUDE to just help yourself like that w/o asking. So I got pissed and gave them a dirty look and told them to get off my property. So they gave me a snotty look, ignored me, finished drinking, and then dropped the hose and walked away, leaving it on. So I took the hose off and put it in my garage and that stopped them. I worried that they would retaliate by just turning on the tap and leaving it on while I was at work, but they never did.

So I figured they were up to their old tricks and told her to unhook it and put it in the garage. She couldn't do it, though (she has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and her hands bug her a lot.) So she turned it off but had to leave it out there. Not an hour later she called me, very upset, and said her wallet was missing. She said she knew for sure she had it the night before on her way home from work because she picked up food from a drive thru. She knows she had it then and never went anywhere else or did anything else, and she's gone thru her purse over and over and it is gone. The only time it could have been taken was while she was outside dealing w/ the water.

So we figured some idiot turned the tap on to lure her out of the house and then darted into the laundry room thru the open garage door and saw her purse there and took her wallet and dashed out again. It isn't uncommon for people to be robbed while they are gardening, so it wouldn't be impossible for this scenario to play out.

After asking if she was sure she looked everywhere, etc, I told her I'd call the credit card company to cancel my card because she has a copy for emergencies. Not 30 minutes after I did that did she call to say she was so embarrassed...she found it on the seat of her car!

I tell you. My life is crazy right now.

The Ex Files

2009-04-12T08:48:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 1,010 pennies (plus a 300 penny tip) at a bar where we had a girls night.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

My best friend, Jessie, is getting a divorce. She's been married over 13 years. He's from a traditional Mexican family, which means he is of the belief that the woman does everything for the man: cooking, cleaning, etc. And his diabetic, unemployed father has been living with them for years. She HATES his father. It seems to be mutual. Recently, his brother moved in, too, but at least his brother pays rent. The dad just sponges.

After being "on the fence" and making and reconsidering that decision several times now, this time it seems final. She's never taken off her wedding rings before, and he's moved into an apartment with his father and brother (who were also living with her before the separation). He's been acting lovey-dovey, trying to change her mind about things. I think he's finally realizing she's fed up. She doesn't want to take care of 3 grown men anymore. But he seems to be hoping that kicking his dad and brother out is enough. He continues to call her and tries to "romance" her.

Anyway, last night we got together for one of her friends' birthdays, but it was a combined "birthday/divorce" party. It was pretty funny. They had Karaoke. Everyone started singing "anti-men" songs. It started with me doing "Goodbye, Earl" by the Dixie Chix. Afterward, I joked that I should have switched the lyrics to "Those PINTO beans...they tasted alright to me!" He always made her make him egg/pinto burritos for breakfast, so it was perfect. When I said that she laughed so hard she almost cried. After that, another gal got up and sang "So What" by Pink. We had a lot of fun with that, and she laughed again because in the song, Pink refers to her Ex as a "Tool", and Jessie has been refering to her Ex with the same name.

Good times. And I am glad to see my friend out from under the dictatorship. I've been saying for years (whenever she complained) that the woman having the role of running the household and cooking all meals might have been okay back in the days when men traditionally worked and women stayed home...after all, everybody should contribute. And if you aren't working, you shouldn't be sitting on your a$$ all day eating bon bons and watching soap operas. If she'd been a housewife I would have seen it as more acceptable for him to have that "you do it all" expectation. But today's world is different. Women don't just want to work outside the home, they often HAVE to work outside the home for financial reasons. She works full time just like he does...so why should she have to work TWO full time jobs and not just one?

Now she says she sees the light. Hallelujah!

Thoughts on Fraud

2009-04-05T18:16:00.005-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 217 pennies on the Sunday paper (for the coupons).

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I did get paid the other night and paid some bills, of course. The only trouble w/ not posting every single day like I did when I started this LONG LONG trek to debt freedom is that I often have little or nothing to post in the listings above!!

My life is fairly boring right now, which is why I don't post. Work is work. Claims are sort of slow right now (which is nice...because we all know the weather disasters will pick up again come summer!) There are a lot of theft claims right now. More people out of work means more people are desperate...so they are either robbing homes and cars or they are making fake claims. Either way, I mostly get theft claims these days. Now I just get to try to decide who is telling the truth and who is lying.

It is an interesting challenge, actually. I've been in the "fraud biz" for a long time (I worked a total 0f 8 yrs for a major credit card company and 6 of them were in the fraud department.) We took classes on telephone interrogation techniques. I've studied "red flag" lists for all sorts of different types of fraud. It was useful for deciding if a caller was really the cardholder, and it was useful for trying to decide whether a cardholder reporting that their card was stolen and charges were not theirs was telling the truth or not.

Nowadays, it is the same thing in the claims department. In addition to processing claims for regular problems like water damage or storm damage (which can also be fraudulent but is rarer), I get to analyze my theft claims and decide whether things look fishy. If they do, I get to pass them on to our fraud unit to have a 2nd look. If they agree it looks fishy, it goes out to a local investigator (I don't leave the office...I am not like the guy who comes to your house to walk on your roof after a hail storm, for example). From there, it might ultimately be nothing or it could lead (ultimately) to involvement with the Department of Insurance, the NICB (National Insurance Crime Bureau) and the local authorities.

I'll tell ya folks. You DON'T want to get tangled up in an insurance fraud rap. If you are the sort of person who commits fraud (and FYI...I doubt anyone who regularly reads my blog IS such a person...this is just me ranting on a soapbox) you should know that even if an insurance company ultimately pays you, if your claim gets so far as an outside investigation, your name WILL be sent to the DOI (department of insurance) and the NICB. And any subsequent claims that even LOOK similar will be examined with a fine tooth comb.

Anyway, this long-winded ramble is all to say that there are a lot of folks out there right now who normally wouldn't steal a pen from their office but who are suddenly so desperate they're torching cars and homes, manufacturing fake burglaries, inflating real burglaries, and so forth. In many cases these are people who have never committed a crime before...it would never have occurred to them so little as six months ago.

Worse, people are completely desensitized to it. They see it as perfectly acceptable to inflate their claim enough so that they don't "really" have to pay their deductible (they do, but they "earn" it back at settlement because of the inflated claim). People see insurance companies as evil in some way. They feel entitled to do whatever they want and get paid for it because they "pay and pay and never have a claim" and now when they suddenly do have a claim and the insurance company is telling them that their loss isn't covered or the coverage is limited, they feel entitled to lie, cheat, and steal. I know I am seriously lecturing now, but folks, THIS is why insurance premiums are so high!

Also, let's put it in another perspective. Let's say insurance didn't exist at all. No one could buy it. What do you suppose you'd do if a pipe broke in your house and flooded every room in it? What if lightning burned the house to the ground? Or how about it someone broke in and stole every last piece of jewelry and every bit of electronic equipment that you owned? You'd be completely out of pocket. Why do you then have to turn around and add things to your claim that weren't stolen to "cover" your deductible? That's dirty and underhanded. You agreed to pay the first "whatever amount" (your deductible) out of any claim. If you don't like it, change the deductible! Don't wait for a loss and then decide you can't cover your deductible so you'll go ahead and manufacture a higher claim. Folks, if you are caught lying to an insurance company, legally speaking, they don't have to pay ANY of your claim...even the legitimate part. Because once they catch you lying, who can be sure the whole thing isn't a lie? And don't be surprised when they drop you like a hot potato, either.

Wow. Listen to me. All that shouting from my soapbox...sorry about that! Guess I just get a little fired up at the crazy thought process some people (the criminal element) have that they feel justifies their actions. So I guess I decided to fire a shot back at all the crazies. Which is really pointless because I doubt anyone who reads my blog w/ even a LITTLE regularity would be the sort of person to commit fraud. After all, we're all DIGGING our way out of debt...not LYING our way out of it. I could have gone bankrupt long ago, but I just can't do it. And it isn't about the hit on my credit. It's about accountability and responsibility...two traits which I fear are becoming extinct in America today. Maybe we should be like India. If you get caught stealing, they cut off your hand. Sometimes both. A nice obvious, visual demonstration of your character. Sort of like the Scarlet Letter. But I worry there'd be an epidemic handlessness if we started doing that. YARGH.

OOPS...I forgot to post again!

2009-03-23T18:57:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 5000 pennies. I purchased a rare scratch ticket on a whim. The ticket was $3.00 and I won $50! WOOT!

Banked: 0 pennies

Nothing new except for that scratch ticket win, which I should have used for something sensible but didn't. I bought some new jeans. Two pairs, on sale. Oh, I am loving having something new for once!

Other than that, my life is utterly boring for the time being. But things change quickly. Stay tuned. Sorry I was gone so long, by the way. The days just slip by unnoticed sometimes. Yikes!

Poor Ethics Award to: CVS Drugstores

2009-03-12T21:04:00.005-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Sarah (of one of my favorite blogs, Sarah's Journey: Goals too Lofty?) is fond of CVS. I get very interested in giving them 2nd chances (and 3rd, 4th and 5th) when I see how well she does there. But they just end up disappointing me every time. This last week they had this "buy $20 worth of these products" offer where you got free TP. Well, since I needed many things in the offer anyway, I mixed and matched and came up w/ $20 worth of items only to find they sold out of the TP that was part of the offer. Ok. That's fine. So, is there some substitution or rain check available?

No.

Now that's the part that yanks my chain. Bait and switch is still alive, people. Some companies don't care how sleazy it makes them look. All they care about is getting you in the store, figuring if they can get you in there you won't stand up for yourself and take the time to go somewhere else since you are already right there in their store with everything you need in your cart. It happens to me all the time w/ Albertson's grocery, too, except those folks are reasonable enough to offer rain checks. Rain checks are still irritating, but at least you still get what you want at the price you came for...eventually. But CVS? No siree, bub. Just a somewhat cavalier "you snooze, you lose" sort of attitude.

So I am done. Sarah can have them. They obviously work different where she lives or they stock their store better or something. I will continue to read Sarah's posts about them in wonder, of course, because it is amazing to watch her go. But as for me, CVS is a fictional fairy tale right up there with Elephants that fly and talking mice and other magical kingdom (read: pretend) stuff. And I won't stand for that junk. I won't roll over and buy the stuff, anyway. I told the clerk to enjoy the "go backs", and I went elsewhere for my necessities.

Payday

2009-03-07T06:42:00.003-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 45,400 pennies for car payment, 13,952 pennies for electric bill

Earned: 98,143 pennies. Payday!

Banked: 5,000 pennies (finally banked some!)

We were given our merit increase and annual bonus information at work yesterday. I did extremely well in terms of performance, and I work for a "pay for performance" company. Yeah, right. I got very little merit increase, and the annual bonus was a joke. The boss' excuse was that we are all lucky to get anything at all, given the financial standing of the US right now in general. I understand how that is partly true, don't get me wrong. But seriously!!! I feel like I got the shaft here!

Well, no sense dwelling on what cannot be changed. Onward and upward!

Good Luck!

2009-03-03T05:59:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I got pulled over by a cop last night on the way home from work. I knew exactly what I'd done wrong, yet I had still done it. There's this shoulder at the last major intersection before my house. Calling it a major intersection is a little misleading, but it is a major intersection in my area. Anyway, everybody in my area uses that little shoulder for a right turn lane when it isn't a turn lane. We evil drivers do it because the traffic gets so backed up it sometimes takes 3 cycles to get through that light, which we hate. I made another error, too, which was to turn into the lane I wanted rather than the closest lane. YIPES.

But I sucked it up. I'd done it, so there was no use arguing about it or making excuses. The officer sounded incredibly cheerful when he asked how I was doing. But I couldn't see being snotty with him when I'm a big girl and knew exactly what I was doing when I did it. I tried to hand him my license, but he told me he didn't need it. He just shined his flashlight in my eyes and he told me what I did wrong. I grimmaced but didn't say anything. I nodded a couple times. And then he told me to have a nice night, drive safely, and walked back to his cruiser.

What? What?! I didn't get a ticket?? I escaped that ugly fate for the first time ever? What?!

Oh, life is sweet. I feel very lucky.

TAXES DUE...PAY HALF YOUR SALARY

2009-02-24T05:57:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Just got my taxes done. I get more back this year than in recent years, surprisingly. What did it was that because of that HUGE dental bill for the crowns last year (along with my Rx meds and co-pays for doc visits!) I actually exceeded the 7.5% of your AGI rule while itemizing my deductions. So I guess that dental bill had a small (very small!) silver lining! In the end it added about 15,000 pennies to my refund.

I'm wondering if AZ will give me an "IOU" for my refund. There's a rumor that that will happen because we're in the crapper. Our budget is soooo busted! We are, as a state, B-R-O-K-E. You have to wonder why so many Americans are clueless about debt. Wonder where our model comes from????

Oh, well. I wish I could say I finally get my computer with my tax refund, but I've decided that while I will put a small portion of it aside in savings for that, I am going to have to bite the bullet and pay as much of the rest of that dental bill off. That dental bill started at 245,000 pennies last year. I paid it down to 180,000 pennies as of last month's bill. My refund isn't quite enough to pay off all 180,000 pennies, but there's still hope. I should be getting a raise/bonus soon. Not sure how much. Probably still won't pay it completely off. But I HAVE to pay that dental bill off by July, otherwise they go back and charge me ALL of the deferred interest on that card. Not just for the balance remaining...ALL of the interest that I should have been getting on the original 245,000 pennies balance. YIKES!

Anyway...my resolution to post more on this blog isn't working too well yet. I hope to do better.

Hope you all are well and happy and having a great time!

Yikes AGAIN!

2009-02-12T06:02:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Well, I am long since back from Laughlin. Didn't win anything, but I sure had a good time. We walked along the river, went to the outlet mall, caught a movie, and gambled a little. I am a slots person, not a tables person. Card games and I don't get along. LOL.

I got dreadfully ill last weekend, just when I was going to update this blog. So I have been gone a ridiculously long time.

My most recent exciting money news is that after a long "Walmart Clothes Suck" draught (I always see stuff I like in the clothes for SLENDER folks, but their plus size section is RIDICULOUS!), I finally found a shirt I liked for $7! Nice! So I got to have a new shirt that I could afford. That also perked me up a bit.

So, in short, right now it's all good.

WHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEE!

2009-01-28T19:01:00.002-07:00

The Log
I used a credit card only 2 times last year. I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: o pennies

Ok, so all that overtime I've been working DOES have a payoff. I'm taking a girls trip to Laughlin, NV this weekend! WHEEE! I've never been there. My best friend sprung the surprise of comp rooms on me. I took her to San Diego years and years and years ago when I was in my 1st year of college, so she is paying my way...everything from the gas money to the buffet! Whatever money I bring is for me to spend as I please. So I am taking my overtime cash from my last paycheck and I'm gonna have a blast!

So nice to finally get something FUN!

By Request

2009-01-23T05:52:00.005-07:00

Ok, Ok. So I've had more than one request (though I don't recall if they were from the same person or different people!) to divulge what it is I made my sister for Christmas. The rule was to MAKE something, not BUY something. Luckily, from past transgressions, I have a lot of random craft items just lying around, waiting to be assembled into something vaguely recognizable.

My sis works in a call center. Just those two words can make anyone who has ever worked in a call center cringe. So I thought it would be nice to give her a smile or a laugh on the bad days. So it is just a few random things assembled into a plain paint can that I adorned with some stuff. Credit MUST go to http://www.callcentercartoons.com/ for the cartoons you see at the very bottom of the picture. I printed some of them off for her and laminated them. From top left: balloons (to let the air out of some folks); the paint can (Oriental Trading Co); a "Dory" from Finding Nemo ("Just Keep Swimming"); some marbles (in case she loses hers); a bag of "monkeys" (we have a saying...'don't let the monkeys get you down'); Call Center Crisis User's Guide (scrapped a DIY matchbook from Oriental); two boxes of EMERGENCY CHOCOLATE (match boxes from Oriental); a pack of tissues in case the Ultimate Bad Thing happens and she's driven to tears by an unruly customer; the aforementioned call center cartoons; and another larger scrapped match box (Oriental) of "Happy Pills" (peanut butter m&ms).

So there you have it.

State of the Pennygather Address

2009-01-20T06:12:00.004-07:00

Ok. So, it's been just over a year since I started this personal anti-debt campaign. It has been one of the hardest, most frustrating ventures of my life. I never thought myself to be terribly materialistic, but I am finding over the course of this year plus that I enjoyed shopping a lot more than I thought I did.

When I started, things looked like this (copied from the WIRR West Region Board):
Pennygather2 1/5/08 $74,652.46.
The Breakdown:

Debt: Current balance
CC#1: $12,838.06
CC#2: $637.46
CC#3: $631.92
HEL : $34,272.02
Car loan: $26,273.00
-----------------------------
TOTAL $74,652.46
**********************************
TODAY'S totals:
Debt: Current Balance
-------------------------------------
CC#1: $11,338.14*
CC#2: $ 1,947.00**
CC#3: $00.00
HEL: $33,619.69***
Car Loan: $23,637.07
-----------------------------------
TOTAL $70,541.19
*******************************************

WHAT?! You've got to be kidding me! I didn't even make it past the 7 Million Pennies mark for which this website is named???!
I know I should be happy to see a lower number, considering that these things happened in 2008:
1) *A/C condenser broke and I had to put the repairs on CC#1: 154,713 pennies
2) **245,000 pennies on 4 crowns. I hate dental work. Let my damn teeth fall out before I spend that kind of money on them again!
3)***Did you ever notice how slowly a home equity loan gets paid off if you are just making the minimum payments???? I swear, it is ridiculous!!
********************************************

I've said it before, and I will say it again. I feel like giving up. I feel like this whole thing has been a useless waste of time! Where am I really? Not all that much better off!!! For all my austere living this last year+, what have I really got for it?

I'll tell you what. I've paid off less than half a million pennies in ONE YEAR. 411,127 pennies, to be exact. It sure sounds like a lot when you put it that way, but really, is it? Not so much. It is $4,111.27. That breaks down to a measly $342.60 (34,260 pennies) per month...less than my car payment itself!
How is that possible? I'll tell you how. Interest is how. All the more reason to re-dedicate myself to this infuriatingly difficult journey.

But, oh, God, I don't know how much longer I can live like a nun. I haven't bought new clothes in I don't know how long. I never did get that new computer I want. Something always ate up the extra money. And now with (STILL) over 7 million pennies of debt staring me in the face, I feel like I haven't even made a dent.

Somebody convince me to keep this debt control thing going, because I honestly feel exactly ZERO better off, even if I did make a very small dent in the last year+.

*Sob*

When will it end????

2009-01-12T05:50:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a credit card in 2009.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I want so badly to call in to work. I am sitting here full of dread, because Mondays are always the worst day of the week for claims and because I don't think I can stand the thought of another 11 to 12 hour day. I didn't really feel like I had a weekend. I was in motion almost constantly. I just want to veg out with a good book or a little crap TV and do nothing.

I keep telling myself it is only until Friday and then I get a 3 day weekend for Martin Luther King, Jr., day. Doesn't help. I keep telling myself it is too early in the year to be using precious sick time. That helps a little. I tell myself to remember that whenever I use sick time and I am not actually sick (mentally exhausted doesn't count for me, it is like playing hooky, even though it is a geniune need for a break!) I end up GETTING sick and then I either have to take ANOTHER day or live miserably through work.

I'll probably end up going. I don't want to. But I probably will. The money is nice. Still, right this moment I'm enjoying the fantasy of staying home all day, allowing myself to think I might actually do it.

Happy New Year

2009-01-04T19:06:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I fully intended upon posting on January 1, but life got in the way. All of the storm activity in the pacific NW has forced me to pull 12 hour days all last week, and I was just too tired to look at my computer on New Year's Day, when I had off.

And I will likely be working 12 hour days all this coming week, too. Good money, but I am exhausted and I have NEVER had a worse case of the "Dreading Monday-itis" than I have right now. I am soooooo sorely tempted to call in for a mental health day, but I strongly suspect I won't because that will just make me further behind.

Hopefully later this month I can do a "State of the Pennygather" address. We'll see.

Sigh.

Post Holiday Blues

2008-12-28T13:35:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 4,061 pennies on an Rx and on a new 2,000 penny pay as you go phone card.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 2,500 pennies I got for Christmas.

Christmas is over for another year. All that preparation and planning and now...the let down. I hate the week after Christmas. I try to plan fun things so that I won't feel the let down so hard, but this year just really stinks. I am particularly short of cash this year, and then unfortunately I didn't get the usual small influx of cash gifts from my parents and other family members because we are ALL feeling the pinch of the economy just now.

And knowing it is back to work tomorrow is sad, too.

Yargh. Cheer up!!! What a sad sack I sound like!

I'm just jonesing. Usually I get to go out and spend some cash on things I normally don't buy. Like new clothes or some other fun thing. But being on this anti-debt wagon is taking its toll on me. There's no other alternative, of course. I can barely keep up with payments now, let alone add to the mix. But this was supposed to allow me t have MORE fun (albeit in controlled ways). And I haven't had any fun in FOREVER. I long for something new to wear. Getting dressed sucks on a multitude of levels. First, I've gained holiday weight and my body image is in the basement, anyway. getting dressed feels like stuffing a sausage in a casing. I don't want to wear anything I own, and I have no fun money to get something I can look forward to putting on.

Second, I am so tired of looking at the same old clothes that I think I'm going to go mad and take a pair of scissors to it all, leaving me with nothing at all to wear. Can you imagine calling in that "sick" day? Uh, boss...I can't come in today. I'm naked.

Bah humbug. I really need to go take a B vitamin. I need some serious cheering up.

Closer, closer

2008-12-21T08:06:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 45,400 pennies on car payment, 16,252 pennies on electric bill, 6,300 pennies on dental bill. 6,989 pennies on groceries and also a few items for my sis and my best friend's Christmas craft presents. Mostly on groceries, though, which means I am overbudget this week. Yargh.

Earned: 95,258 pennies (paycheck).

Banked: 0 pennies

I forgot to take a pic of my sister's Christmas present, which I just finished yesterday. I'll have to wait now until after she unwraps it. Silly me.

I'm glad it is the holidays because of the time off that is coming up, but other than that...BAH HUMBUG. It's such a downer year this year! My mom is unemployed, my dad and stepmom are unemployed, and money is so tight for me that I squeak when I walk. My 401k has dropped by 50% of what it was. I'm trying hard not to focus on that stuff, but it's a little hard to get away from.

Oh, well. You just have to keep plugging. After all, what is the alternative? :P

Yikes!

2008-12-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I tell you...time sure flies this time of year! I haven't posted since 12/2???? Are you kidding????

Not much new going on unless you count the holiday rush on a shoestring budget. Finally thought of something to make my sis, but I can't post it here until after in case she pops in. 99.9% of the time, she doesn't look at my blog stuff, but this would, inevitably, be the one time she'd accidentally click on it instead of something she REALLY wanted to look at and then OOOPS she'd discover her present. So I'll probably post a pic after the fact.

Anyway, other than that nothing is happening. Work is work, life is life, and my wallet is...empty. Same old, same old.

BACKLOG!!

2008-12-02T18:56:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

It is official. Being off on holidays is really nice. Coming back to work w/ a to do list a mile long is just sad.

Tis the season for insurance fraud! Folks are stepping up the fires (arsons), the padded theft claims (if you are thinking about it, don't! Not only is there a special place in Hell for you, but we are pretty darn alert to it and we WILL catch you if you try ), the outright bogus claims, and so forth.

I'm buried under a list of recorded statements that need to be taken! YARGH!

Sorta just makes you want to say BAH HUMBUG!

Thankful

2008-11-27T07:32:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 643 pennies on lunch out (yesterday) at work.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Give thanks today, folks! Despite the crazy economy, we are still one of the wealthiest, most blessed nations in the world. Remember to put the focus on the right place, on the good stuff.

I'm reasonably healthy, I've got a roof over my head, people I love, people who love me, more than enough food to eat, and clean water to drink. The rest is just details.

Amen!

August Rush

2008-11-22T18:13:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 4,320 pennies on weekly grocery shop.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Holy crap!

I never saw August Rush at the theater, though I wanted to. Holy Crap. Yeah, I said it already, I know. But did you ever see a movie that just almost hurt it was so beautiful????

Ok. Is it likely to happen like that? No, of course not. But suspend your disbelief. For me, the whole searching for the parents thing was ok, but what really got me was the music. The way it can be built into you like that...so that everything is a melody. We should all be so lucky.

The beauty of it makes me want to weep! It completely sucks to feel the way I do about good music and not be able to play a single decent note. This must be what hell is like...to have such a glimpse at such a divine beauty, something completely beyond words, and be so completely unable to capture or hold it, let alone create anything remotely close to it.

*Sigh*

SLOW DOWN!

2008-11-18T06:00:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 45,400 pennies on my car payment; 6,300 pennies on my dental bill payment; 16,252 pennies on my electric bill; and 4,221 pennies on the weekly grocery shop.

Earned: 92,822 pennies...payday without any OT. :( *SNIFF*

Banked: 0 pennies. I really need to improve this.

Ok. So this is the time of year I start looking back on things and seeing what's been going well and what hasn't. The budget thing is ok somewhat, but I am also having a VERY hard time figuring out Christmas. I have little talent when it comes to crafting (I do make scrapbook pages and homemade cards), and I am supposed to make my gifts for my sister and best friend this year. We made this pact last year at Christmas, and it was all well and good then, when Christmas was 365 (or so?) days away again.

I've mentioned this fairly recently and y'all came up with some great ideas...but I still am at a loss. Nothing seems quite right or the right fit. I don't know. I'm not even sure what I want to say!

YARGH. I'm feeling a bit constrained by this money thing, this trying to get out of debt thing. My mother is out of work. She got laid off on Halloween. She works in the automotive industry, and that industry is doing about as well as the housing industry right now. She's 6 months out from being able to take Social Security, but even then it won't be enough.

My dad and my stepmom are also out of work, both being from the housing industry.

I'm failing miserably at my attempts to lose weight.

Anyway, things are just sort of crazy right now. Sorry to whine.

As for giving thanks, I am grateful I am still employed, seeing what's been happening to all of my parents! I am grateful to just be alive, have a roof over my head, and food to eat. The overindulgence thing is my problem...LOL.

I usually write a Christmas newsletter and I parody a different Christmas song each time, basing the song on something I've done during the year. This year, for some reason, my heart isn't in it and I feel bad because every year about this time my family members always hint at how excited they are to see what I come up with this year. I've got nothing. No ideas for crafts, no ideas for the newsletter...YARGH!

Ok. Still whining. Not meaning to, but still whining. Gonna sign off now, until something happier comes to mind. And you wonder (maybe?) why it takes me a week to post these days. LOL

Feels Good!

2008-11-10T06:05:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 6,543 pennies on grocery shop (3,000 of this was paid by a gift card, one of those Rx transfer deals!) 13,345 pennies at Target. I FINALLY saved up enough for the Wii Fit game I wanted. The rest was Rx meds and TP. Woohoo! It was cool because I got 1,000 pennies off my purchase of 10,000 pennies or more. Nice!

Earned: 94,520 pennies (10/31 payday)

Banked: 0 pennies (I am so bad at this part!!!!!!!)

It was a good feeling buying something that I had the money for rather than putting it on a credit card. This all came off the debit card, which of course is my cash from my checking. Only bad thing was that when I tried out the Wii Fit yesterday, I pulled a muscle in my calf and now I am a gimp for a couple days! YARGH! It always shocks me to remember that I'm not as young as I was and I don't bounce back as quickly, because other than being large and in charge, I feel pretty good otherwise, and mentally, I still feel in my twenties. Crazy, huh?

Anti-Climactic

2008-11-05T06:12:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I don't know if everyone voted, who or what they voted for, or whether they are happy today. And I don't discuss politics because I refuse to debate about stuff like that. But I voted. And whether or not I am happy today doesn't matter. The point is that I did my civic duty, and I threw my voice in there with everyone else's and if I DON'T like how things go in the next few years I have every right to either feel embarassed (if I made the wrong choices) or self-righteous (if I made the right ones).

So there.

Have a great day!

Budgeting Food

2008-10-30T06:12:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I've been trying to follow Weight Watchers (the Flex Points plan) at home because as you can guess by this blog, the weekly attendance fees are just not in the budget right now. I've been there before, many times, but have always fallen off the wagon. I've lost and regained hundreds of pounds over the course of my life.

I'm struggling, though. Being a very picky eater takes its toll. I have a hard time finding meals that are low enough in points but still keep me satisfied (largely because the foods I am picky about are pretty much all fruits and most veggies). Yargh. What's a fruit/veggie phobic girl to do??!

I eat a lot of soup. It seems the only way I can choke veggies down is if they are mushy and don't taste like veggies anymore (save potatoes and corn, which are the "starchy bad guys" of the veggie world!). In soups, the cooked veggies lose their taste almost completely. I had someone once suggest to me that my rampant dislike of veggies could be because I am something called a Supertaster. The bitter flavors that exist in many veggies would therefore be heightened for me. But I don't know if that's true. I don't think they have an official test or anything. And I am not aware of any cures. Oh, well.

Suffice it to say there's only so much soup a girl can eat (especially if it is NOT homemade, since that stuff is MISERABLE for sodium count!). So I am struggling to stay in my points range each day. Well, I also just love food. I'm sure I have some sort of compulsive eating problem which stems back to childhood. Pair that with a thyroid problem and you can guess why I've been overweight (to varying degrees) most of my life, including childhood. Can you say picked last for P.E., anyone? *Smirk*

You could make suggestions if you want, but I've tried all the "sneaking veggies in" tricks, a la "Deceptively Delicious" by Seinfeld's wife. Some work, some don't. Really, though, I just wanted to vent. So thanks for listening...if you read my whining this far! LOL

Broke. Dead broke!

2008-10-26T08:57:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 4,000 pennies. Weekly grocery shop.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

After all of last weekend's activity, I've just been sitting around this weekend, enjoying being lazy. Whew!

Though I am trying to figure out a craft to make this Christmas. My best friend imposed a rule: we all have to MAKE our gifts to each other (me, my sis, and my best friend all exchange gifts). This is a good thing because lately I am DEAD BROKE after paying bills!!! But it is a bad thing because...

...I can't think of anything to make! She's diabetic, so I can't bake her anything. (And I am a crappy cook, anyway!) I can't sew or crochet. So what??? What can I do that doesn't look like a four year old did it????

Any ideas, readers???? SOS! LOL!

The Rush

2008-10-21T06:02:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Since Friday:
Spent: 8,946 pennies for a Lab bill; 1,920 pennies for a Dr. visit co-pay; 16,252 pennies for the electric bill; 40,000 pennies for credit card payment; 14,000 pennies withdrawal from checking for my "budget" money for the next two weeks (cut short due to the lab and Dr. bills); 4,484 pennies on my sister's birthday present; and 3,150 pennies for gas. Oh, and only 1,975 pennies for groceries this week since I stocked up last weekend.

Earned: 111,619 pennies for payday

Banked: 0 pennies

Oy. It has been a whirlwind sort of weekend. I got out of work early on Friday and took my mom, sister, and grandmother out to lunch for my sister's birthday (see present listed above). We don't really need THINGS, so my sister said she'd like to sit down and have lunch with the family for her birthday. We went to this little neighborhood Italian place called Anzio's. MMMMM.

Friday evening, we went to my stepsister's house for a party (to celebrate her birthday, which was Oct. 14). SS's (stepsister's) parties get sort of out of hand. She and her friends are all big drinkers. I mean BIG drinkers. Me and my sis are not. My sis used to be but she is on too many different meds now. I never was. So (long story short) we don't stay that long. We got there at 8p or so and left by midnight. Only when we left we unexpectedly had my stepmom, Sandy, with us. My stepmom is a nice lady, but we weren't expecting any refugees. As it turns out, Sandy has been staying with Shannon looking for a job (Sandy is a victim of the housing crunch, having spent her entire life working in real estate and for title companies). Because SS's parties typically are all nighters, with people sleeping where they land (couch, floor, the kids' bedrooms [kids are away for these parties]) that meant Sandy was NEVER going to get to go to sleep due to the noise and the bodies. So we stupidly offered to host Sandy for the night.

Let me just say that for a month in my early 20's I went to stay with my Dad and Stepmom. We did not always get along as well, but I was struggling in Phoenix and didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. They took me in, I guess, as a way to try to show me a different way to live. I came to them from a home with few rules and fewer responsibilities. Sandy had me doing all sorts of slave labor (a.k.a. housecleaning), and I never seemed to be able to do any of it to her satisfaction. They picked on me about what I ate (or didn't eat...I'm very picky), how I dressed, the fact that I didn't want to work another fast food job and was hoping for something that was a step up, the fact that I didn't know how to cook, and, as I said, the way I cleaned.

Anyway, you can probably guess that I am still not the best housekeeper today. I am not a total pig, but if you come to my house you have to expect a small amount of dust, a few dishes in the sink, and the fact that my floor does NOT get vacuumed every day. This happened to be a bad week because my sister was sick, so her part of the housekeeping didn't get done. As we were driving to our house with Sandy following behind, my sister and I were moaning about all the chores we hadn't done. And there was no fixing it before she'd see it.

God. How humiliating! And we did it to ourselves. I kept apologizing, and Sandy kept saying it was no big deal. But it was. She slept over, and she slept for a long time (truthfully, I think she's depressed due to being out of work). When she woke up, she refused all offers of breakfast and got on the road back to SS's place as quickly as possible, at least after confirming that the partygoers had risen from the dead and were gone.

Seriously. Sis and I agreed we'd better make an effort to clean up more regularly. Nothing feels worse than disapproval. Nothing.

Fairy Dust

2008-10-13T06:15:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 6,800 pennies: stock up grocery stop. Needed staples like TP and papertowels. Spent 500 pennies on a few scratcher tickets.

Earned: 10,500 pennies : See below!

Banked: 0 pennies

Fairy Dust Gift #1: As it turns out, my sister's car would not repeat its bizarre behavior for either of two mechanics, so we had to just give up and accept that there's nothing wrong. And that means nothing was spent on my credit card! WHEE!

Fairy Dust Gift #2: On Saturday I did my usual grocery shop, and I bought 500 pennies worth of scratch tickets on a whim. Good whim. I won 5,000 pennies on one ticket, 5,000 pennies on another ticket (different game, even!) and 500 pennies on a third ticket. WHEEEEEEE!

It was a pretty good weekend. My only irritation is with myself for not tucking some of my scratch ticket spoils away in the bank. But I've been needing to cut loose from the bonds of my strict lockdown, and this money allowed me to have a little fun this weekend (a meal out, a movie, and a couple of little splurges) without resorting to credit. A gift from the Universe? I like to think so!!!

Possession

2008-10-09T05:52:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 65 pennies on a soda from the vending machine. And then just for fun I left the 35 pennies change behind as a surprise for someone. Isn't it neat how just 35 pennies can brighten someone's day if they are in a bad mood?

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

My sister called me the other night at 8:45pm, which is around the time she usually gets home from work. She'd just turned into our neighborhood and her car just stopped. The engine was running, the radio was working, and the car was in drive but wouldn't move. I asked her to put the brakes on and try to shift into park. She said she couldn't.

So I went down to the corner to see if I could help. She got out of the car and I got in. I waited for the car to roll away since nobody's foot was on the brake, but true to her word, it wasn't going anywhere. Strangest thing I've ever seen. It was like the car was in neutral except that it wasn't.

I was able to put the brakes on and shift into park. I then turned the car off. Then I turned it back on, and I shifted into drive and I was able to drive it home. Weird. We parked it at the curb instead of in the garage, certain that we wouldn't be able to start it the next day.

She took the next day off of work and took it to a mechanic, who couldn't find a damn thing wrong with it. Frustrating, you know, because of the unpredictability. What if it did that on the freeway??!

I asked around at work and some folks have some ideas of what it could be...possibly the gear shift linkage or even the alternator. I would have thought no on the alternator since in my experience you may have a noticable loss of power, but I've never not been able to move my vehicle at all!

Oh, well. Today she's taking it to a friend of a friend to see if he can find out more. I am torn between hoping so (because at least we'll have answers) and hoping not (because, since my sis is so financially irresponsible, MY credit card will get the honor of paying for her shit!)

I'm not sure which to wish for!

Saving Face (this is for Saturday)

2008-10-06T06:08:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 45,400 pennies, car pyt. $10,000 pennies dental bill installment, 16,300 pennies APS bill. 8,629 at Fry's Grocery. Went over my budget due to some great deals and I was stocking up!

Earned: 114,063 pennies. Overtime is a beautiful thing when it is PAYDAY!

Banked: 5,000 pennies

Ok. So, today I went to get my haircut. I normally go to a discount place, but they do a decent job. It isn't the haircut of my dreams but it is good enough. Someday when my debts are down I will be able to get higher class haircuts. This is what I tell myself.

I might have to rethink that. I went to Walmart Smart Style, which I have never tried before. But I was at Walmart for some odds and ends and I still had to go to Fry's (they had better deals this week than Wally World!). I thought it would be great to just get a quick cut and then I wouldn't have to go home to drop groceries off before going back out to one of the discount places to get my haircut.

The first thing that should have been an alarm bell is that there was a toddler getting a haircut who was screaming bloody murder the WHOLE time. As I have no children, I cannot block this ungodly sound out like a Mom would. It grated on my nerves until all sorts of negativity and pessimism were filling my head.

So the other chair opens up and the woman washes my hair and the second flag should have been the way she clawed at my head. Roughly, like she was trying to get even with someone for something. Yet, like an idiot, I said nothing. I just figured she was almost done, I could get through it, no big deal.

She sat me in her chair and put the cape on me and asked how I wanted my hair. I explained that I have a razor cut although it is grown out more than I want it to be. I advised I wanted her to take a lot of length off the back and, in the front, to bring my bangs up "just above my eyebrows". Somehow, that translated to "just above my crown". But I didn't notice because I was trying to block out Hell Boy's screaming fits and having someone do my hair always puts me into this odd trance sort of state where I am half asleep. And she was a lot more gentle with my hair when cutting it, because she didn't jerk me around or comb too roughly or anything. And suddenly I'm finished and my hair is short and spiky (I like that) but it is TOO SHORT (man short, not sexy pixie short that I was going for!!!!!!) and I HAVE NO BANGS!!!! NO BANGS AT ALL!!!!

It should be explained that while I don't look hideous without bangs, I have some acne scars on my forehead and my forehead is just a little too high for a girl (think Christina Ricci, who has a very high forehead) and I am self conscious about both. Therefore, I have always worn bangs to sort of protect these weaknesses.

SIGH. I know it is only hair. And I was calm about it. I didn't pitch a fit or demand a refund. I even tipped her, though it was only 5% instead of my standard 20%. And then I kicked myself the rest of the day for being so damned passive, which I usually am not. Normally, I'm quite assertive. But I figured it best to let this one go. I don't know why.

But now I get to walk around looking horrible for a few weeks. I really wish I looked good in hats.

Time Flies

2008-09-30T19:32:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 65 pennies on a soda at work.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I've really fallen by the wayside here, haven't I? I was just checking my email and realized I couldn't remember when I last posted! Sheesh!

Not much going on, I guess. I've been feeling crappy lately. Just that sort of light unwell, where nothing specific is wrong...you just don't feel good. Tired, lethargic, unmotivated!

Oh, well. This too, shall pass.

My sister keeps making the same mistakes over and over. She's gotten two "overdraft" notices from her bank (I know this w/o opening them because they come in these nifty little tear off the three sides envelopes.) It irritates me. When is she going to be more responsible with her cash????? I was hoping some of what I was doing would rub off, but she's just stupid with money. It doesn't seem likely to ever change! The only reason I particularly care is because we live together. Otherwise, I'd wash my hands of her haphazard financial approach and be on my merry way. But she has me biting my nails over what she will do next, against my advise and strong cautions. YARGH.

Tuckered Out!

2008-09-23T19:56:00.001-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I am sooooo tired. I agreed to work OT to help out some folks at work who are buried under claims. I am all caught up.

I am sort of regretting having made that commitment. I am really wiped out, yet I can't sleep a full night to save my life right now. Yargh. Frustrating. Oh, well. Friday is bound to come around again at some point.

I'm Free!!!!!!!

2008-09-20T07:25:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 30,000 pennies on CC1 payment. 25,000 pennies on Home Equity Loan payment. 9,700 pennies on car insurance payment.

Earned: 93,672 pennies for payday. This payday includes the week of vacation I had and the VERY slow week before that....before all hell broke loose. This check represents my normal net paycheck without any overtime. SIGH.

Banked: 0 pennies

Meanwhile, my sis has been in a funk lately. I try to be understanding and supportive, but now I am just getting tired of it and I wish I could force her to cheer up. But I guess that is the nature of life. Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down. I just wish she and I could both be in a good mood together! It just seems like whenever I am down, she's up and vice versa! How silly and frustrating!

Nothing much new to report. I'm just going to do a whole lot of nothing this weekend! WHEEE!

January Revisited

2008-09-16T06:01:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: o pennies

In January, catastrophic winds swept through California and Washington. I moaned about receiving 26 claims in one day.

Yesterday, I got back to work after being sick on Friday (and I never work weekends!) and I started out of the gate with 13 claims, which built to a final total of 27 new claims and 10 reassigned claims. Holy Schnikes!

I worked 8:30a-7p, and I expect more of the same the rest of this week.

The cause of this claims nightmare? Ike and Ike's "ripple effect". I don't actually work any claims in Texas because you have to have a specific license for Texas claims which I don't have. But that just means they flood the folks who have Texas licenses with Texas claims and then they have to give folks like me everything else: the high winds in OH and IN; the flooding rains in IL; wind in CA; and other similar claims in KY, MO, and PA. YARGH.

Better go now. I have to caffeine up.

WHEE!

2008-09-14T17:12:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 217 pennies on the Sunday paper.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

On Friday, when I last wrote, I was pretty sure I had a UTI. I was right. As I was leaving to go to my doctor's appointment to get the Rx for antibiotics (he's one of those annoying doctors who won't just let you call him for an Rx), I discovered that I could not get my car out of park!

But the wonderful beauty of my warranty is that I not only get free towing to the dealership but also pretty much every possible repair I would need is covered at no charge while under warranty! WHEEEEEEEE!

The other good news is that in June or July I changed my electric company billing plan and they just sent me a notice that starting next month, my "Equalizer" bill is going down by $13 a month! WHEEEEEEE again!

YICK

2008-09-12T08:48:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 2,000 pennies (copay for dr office)

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Though I am still in a good mood, I am feeling a little under the weather. I think I have a urinary tract infection. I've had them before, and I have the same familiar symptoms: I really feel like I have to go, but I barely have any urine. There's a sense of fullness/pressure in my lower abdomen/pelvic area, and a deep, gnawing sort of pain in my back. That and the pee stick shows positive for white blood cells. It is negative for nitrites, but not every UTI is caused by bacteria that gives off nitrites. (End of medical lesson for the day....and sorry to be so graphic!)

Anyway, I will put a positive spin on things and say that except for the feeling tired and achy and pressure-y and having that constant need to pee feeling, it is nice to be off of work.

Yesterday I was walking back to work from this nearby cafeteria and I suddenly had this overhwelming sense of joy. The weather was mild (which in AZ at this time of year means NOT boiling hot) and for some reason, I felt compelled to pause under this tree and look up through the sun-dappled leaves. Everyone should do this from time to time. It's beautiful, and its a reminder of the synchronicity and the harmony of all things. It was just a peaceful, easy feeling...just like the Eagles talked about. HEE HEE. And it was like I could feel fall coming.

Sheesh, you'd think I was in love with the way I've been in such a good mood lately, but that's not it. Nothing substantial has changed in my life except for my mind and my mood! But that's ok. I'll take it!

Delightful!

2008-09-09T18:57:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 4,000 pennies winning scratch ticket

Banked: 0 pennies

I'm in a great mood these days for no reason at all. But yee ha anyway!
Mine is not to question why but to enjoy it and encourage it to last!!!!!!
:)
Other than that, nothing else is new. Little bits of "free" money trickling in here and there. Like I had 500 pennies left over from my grocery budget last week and indulged in a couple of scratch tickets. I try not to "throw money away" like that, but I figure everybody needs to dream a little and there's always the possibility of a "jackpot" windfall. Of course, my 4,000 penny win was not a jackpot but still. Good enough!

Things are just flowing right now. I can't go so far as to say I am out of my rut *yet* but I see a rut free existence in my future!

Oh, MAN!

2008-09-05T07:22:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

SIGH. It is Friday already. ALREADY. Why does time off FLY by and work time CRAWLS????

I know the answer. It is the Office Space answer. "Peter, most people don't like their jobs..."
But with me, some days I feel fine about my job. Other days, I feel suffocated and trapped. I hate having such a sedentary job. I hate working in a little cubicle. I don't mind working solo without a lot of direction, because I am a writer (hobby) and you work solo all the time. But other times, sometimes, I hate the isolation.

So that brings us back to Who Moved My Cheese? and the question: "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

Honestly? If I wasn't afraid (or so deep in debt!), I'd pack up and move to a cooler climate, live alone, and write full time for a living. Maybe open up a used bookstore if the writing gig wasn't enough. Because I could write in the bookstore during slow times. I'd be one of those artsy gypsy types who wears long skirts and denim overshirts and lots of jewelry. I'd have a huge covered porch where I could sit and watch thunderstorms. I'd walk more, and I'd have the time to also focus on my health in general.

Isn't it cool how we have these very detailed dream lives that we talk about so enthusiastically? And isn't it weird how we are almost embarrassed to share them with other people (you have no idea how much I will have to force myself to post this and not delete it!!!)? It is almost like we feel like sharing the dream means it will never happen and we will look stupid if we never achieve our dreams.

How can I make this dream of mine happen? In the past, I haven't been very good at attaining my goals. I love to MAKE goals, make LISTS, plan and dream. But my follow through sucks. I get easily distracted. Like one of my biggest things is to say, "I just don't have the energy right now because I am soooo out of shape." So I will sit down and plan how to get in shape so that I can move on to my bigger dreams...and then that falls by the wayside, and the dreams get further delayed.

Hmmmm. They say if you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always gotten. So I have to figure out how to do things differently for a different (and hopefully spot on) outcome. Any suggestions?

FREE!

2008-08-30T06:43:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I'm free! At least for the next week, anyway. I have all of Labor Day week off. YAY!
It was pretty sad, too. If you are going to be off for a week, you have 2 days where they won't give you any new claims to work. You can have them both together or you can have one before you leave and one when you return.

Well, the reason I say it is sad is because Thursday night there was a HUGE storm in the Valley of the Sun and surrounding areas with 60+ mph winds (one site in Maricopa County registered 100mph! This is hurricane force wind we're talking about! Plus there was hail and buckets of monsoon rain and enough lightning that we looked like a bad disco.

So we had 80 new claims (and counting), but I wasn't getting any of them, because I was on a no new claim day yesterday and I'll get another one when I get back on Monday 9/8/08. So I felt bad for my co-workers because they were grumbling all day about the huge influx of new claims. Once I cleared my work, I started helping them with theirs because I had nothing else to do.

What a change from a couple of weeks ago when I thought the overtime would never end! I miss the extra money, but I needed a break!

Time Does Fly

2008-08-25T19:09:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Have you ever over-reacted in a BIG way, knowing you were overreacting WHILE you were doing it, but unable or possibly unwilling to stop yourself? That happened to me on Friday. It was payday. I went to the bank to take money from the driveup ATM. It irritates me because they have it at a bad angle w/ no canopy and so if you get there too late in the morning you CANNOT see the screen for the sun glare. So I started out irritated because of that. I tossed my card into my car (so I thought?) and tossed the sunshade for my car (which I was trying to use to shield the sun so I could read the screen, but it didn't work) on the seat and whipped my car around to the front of the bank, intending to use the walkup ATM.

My card was gone. I cannot explain it. I tore my purse apart, I tore the car apart. Under the seats. I unfurled the fold-up car sun shades. Between the seats and the center console. Tore my purse apart again. The car again. You get the picture. I went ape shit, convinced that someone had gotten ahold of that card somehow, that I dropped it at the driveup and only thought it was in the car. So I pull up to the teller window and I tell her I can't find my bank card, that it literally just disappeared. She tells me there's nothing she can do about it and gives me a phone # I have to call. I whip back around, park, and try to dial it on my cell phone. I kid you not, I dial it twice and it is not a valid phone #. So instead of driving to work I rush home, still ape shit panic, convinced all of my payday money will be gone by the time I find the RIGHT phone number to call.

So I rush in the house, to my sister's surprise since she knows I was headed to work as always. I pull up the website, I find a phone number for lost cards on the bank's website. When I dial it, I KID YOU NOT, the woman tells me I just dialed Bank of America and to call my bank instead at such and such a number. WTF???! So I dial it, and again I get the out of service thing. This is a major credit union we are talking about, not some fly-by-night bank that just opened and will fail in six months. I am completely unglued at this point. Absolutely out of my mind. When I finally get through to a human being, I am in tears and hysterical. He talks me down from the ledge, tells me my last charge, which was mine, and then sent me on my way.

Which of course made me feel really damn sheepish. Guess that's what happens when you work in the fraud industry for so long (before I was in insurance, I worked as a fraud investigator at a credit card company). Sigh.

Feast or Famine

2008-08-21T19:00:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Our claims department at work just changed. People either work only commercial claims or homeowner's claims. It is AMAZING how my work load cut in half after that happened. Well, ok...to be fair, we've been slower this last week and a half or so. No major disasters. But it is STILL amazing to see how NOT busy I am. For the first time in months, NO overtime is available because the incoming claims are too low. Seriously, I think it is just a matter of commercial claims taking so much longer to set up and evaluate (I am now working only homeowner claims) that has taken my workload to almost nil. I had literally nothing to do after 4p except field calls for other reps. All of my work was done for the time being. WOOO HOOO. Feels good!

Mamma Mia!

2008-08-17T18:14:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 217 pennies on the Sunday paper.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

My sister won movie tickets at work so we used them to see Mamma Mia! I haven't had that much fun since I don't know when. I wanted to get up and dance in the aisles! And, of course, it just made me want to go see Greece in person...what a beautiful place!!!!

Another Week Flies By

2008-08-14T18:17:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 400 pennies. Forgot my lunch so I did the cheapest thing I could think of (except starve, of course, because I am NO good at that!) and got 2 slices and a soda from a pizza place near my work. I didn't want to spend it, but it was either that or I'd be under my desk in a cloud of hypoglycemic brain fog. LOL

Earned: 0 pennies. Sure would like to know where the heck "change is a good thing" is finding these surveys that pay $125.00 a pop. I never seem to qualify for those!

Banked: 0 pennies

Just another week in paradise where the money grows more and more nonexistent. Oy. I'm starting to feel a little desperate. I'm about ready to sell plasma to the blood bank for some extra cash....and I am NOT fond of needles.

I'm working the inbox dollars and trying to work the survey sites (see previous comments!). I need to start up w/ that Pay Per Post that I signed up with and got to lazy to ever follow thru on. But I have to post here more often, too. I don't think they like having almost a week go by w/o a post. H mmmmmmmmm.

Paid and Gone

2008-08-10T07:44:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 45,400 pennies on car payment; 7,100 pennies on dental installment; 17,562 pennies on electric bill; 5,993 pennies on weekly grocery shop + new toilet seat to replace broken one; and $4,000 pennies on Rx.

Earned: 97,206 pennies. Payday.

Banked: zero pennies

As you can guess from my familiar refrains lately, I am feeling very broke and very stressed about it. I have to get through the next two weeks on less than $100, and since gas for the car has to come out of that, I pretty much have nothing.

All of those presential candidates keep promising a better tomorrow that never comes. I'm tired of my own complaints, but seriously....WHAT the heck can I do to fix this????? I've tried half.com and ebay, but nothing ever sells for enough to make it worth the postage. Guess I own junk that nobody wants...not even me? LOL.

I've tried thinking positively, visualization, and all that new age-y stuff they will tell you to try. The Secret is, there's no secret that works except HARD WORK and that isn't much of a secret to begin with. But when you are working to capacity already and still those ends are barely meeting with nothing left over for fun....what then?

Trust me, I'm having all the "free" fun the helpful magazines tell you about....like having a potluck with friends, DVD nights, game nights, etc. But I can only turn people down for so long on the $$$$ activities before they wonder if I just don't like them anymore. They do understand when I explain to them about my debt load and my goals, but they also DON'T understand because they are all on SUCH better footing financially than I.

Man, what a broken record I am, always complaining. But something has got to give....and soon.

Again with the Mondays

2008-08-04T05:48:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I feel so poor. I have $3 in my wallet to last me until Friday. Then I will get paid, and all of THAT money will go out for my car payment, my APS bill, and my dental bill payment. Well, and gas and groceries, too.

I just got word in the mail on Saturday that APS (electric) is trying to get a rate hike approved. Again. I am drowning already, and they just want to charge more. Pretty soon the camel's back will break and I won't be able to keep up. Nightmare scenarios about losing my house and having to go back to an apartment (or worse) are running through my head like a little neverending filmstrip.

I regret every one of those 7 million plus pennies that I spent foolishly, on stupid stuff I didn't really need but simply wanted....back in the day before I had a brain or any understanding about money and how it worked. But all that knowledge doesn't make anything a damn bit better, does it? No. I'm still drowning.

Lagging and Dragging

2008-07-31T21:03:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 4,123 pennies. Went grocery shopping today. Had a half day at work and decided to get it out of the way so I could have Saturday all to myself.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Nothing is really going on lately. I'm so darn boring these days. Still in that rut I've been talking about. Work is work, and home is blah. Feeling very jaded. Worn out. I'll snap out of it soon. I hope.

Found out one of the guys that made contact via the dating website I mentioned in my last post is 48 years old. I have no idea how or why I missed that when I checked his profile. It was there all along. That's 13 years older than me. I don't know. Some people are okay about big age differences. I am not. I try to be cool about it, but in the back of my head I'm going "Ok. When he was 16 years old, driving a car for the first time I was three. I was making car NOISES with my mouth.". Or "When he was 21 and officially "legal" everywhere, I was eight years old. I was a THIRD GRADER. He was feeling up girls and I was playing BARBIES for heaven's sake!"

Yeah. So he's out. And the first guy said hey, and we chatted back and forth for a bit and now I haven't heard from him. Yargh. Oh, well. It was entertaining while it lasted.

Forgotten

2008-07-27T07:14:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 3,892 pennies (Yesterday) on weekly grocery shop. YAY! I am back to sticking to my budget of 4,000 or fewer pennies! Will likely only spend 200 pennies today on the Sunday paper.

Earned: 101,520 pennies (Friday) for paycheck. Overtime is a good thing at payday, but not while I am slogging through it!

Banked: 3,500 pennies (Today). Transferred from checking to savings. Should have been more, but I'm having to pay on those darn crowns. SIGH.

Have any of you ever made a profile on a dating website, you know, and maybe you actively pursued that angle for a while, and then you gave up on it when you met nothing but losers or crazies or nobody but old guys seemed to respond? Okay, maybe that old guy thing only happens to me, but I didn't want to delete my profile, so I just left it there. I cancelled my active, paid membership and just let things sit. I wasn't allowed to contact anyone since I didn't have a paid membership, but if someone contacted me I would be able to respond back.

Well, oddly enough, all of a sudden I have two guys emailing me through the service, which came as a surprise because that profile has been there for about 3 years now, from the original onset. YIKES! So, I am responding and we'll see where it goes. I don't have high expectations, seeing as how things didn't go so well the first time around, but there's still that annoying little sprig of hope. I'll keep you posted.

Dripping

2008-07-23T05:43:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 65 pennies. I got a Sprite from the vending machine after my lunch upset my stomach. (This post is for yesterday)

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I can't think of anyone less ready to retire than my mother...unless you count me. But she's closer to the reality of it. She's worked as a title clerk for car dealerships ever since I was a kid. She doesn't make a lot of money to begin with, but now she tells me her hours have been cut back. It isn't horrible yet...they've only been cut from 40 to 38. But she says if they cut her hours further they might start talking about cutting out her benefits. If they do that, she'll be forced at age 62 into retirement. She doesn't want it. She isn't ready yet...not emotionally, not financially, not physically.

This is a sad, depressing sign of the times. The economic mess we are in is, in my eyes, so deep we may never recover as a nation. And each successor just makes things worse. Will I vote in the election? Yes, but I am not sure why. We never seem to do anything but collectively go from bad to worse.

I am tired of struggling financially. The thought that things are only going to get worse before they even have a hope of getting better just makes me want to give up.

Yeah, I know. I whine a lot lately. Well, there's a lot to whine ABOUT lately. :)

WHOOOPS

2008-07-19T07:42:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 3,989 pennies on weekly grocery shop. I reined myself back in and got strict. No more of this 4,345 pennies or 6,233 pennies stuff. 4,000 pennies exactly (or less). I got lax. The next step down that dangerous, relaxed path was to start thinking it might be ok to charge just this one little thing to my credit card. Luckily, I didn't go that far. But you have to watch yourself every minute! YARGH!

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Still in a rut and bored with life. That's why I haven't been writing, but I sure didn't mean to NOT write since MONDAY. I didn't realize I went that long without posting.

I really need to give myself a kick in the pants and get moving. Seriously.

Dental

2008-07-14T18:17:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Got off of work early today to have my temporary crowns pulled off and the permanent ones put on. That was so much fun!! Not. But I don't get nuts like some people when they go to the dentist. My cousin nearly comes unglued. She's a very nervous, high strung patient. I'm like, hey, as long as it doesn't hurt really bad, it's all good. The worst part is the financial kick in th pants.

But the crowns look good. Really good. I'm impressed.

Friday, at last.

2008-07-11T19:05:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 45,400 pennies. Car payment

Earned: 95,617 pennies. Payday.

Banked: 5,000 pennies. Just barely. Now I am broke again until payday. Sigh.

Still feeling down. I will use the weekend to try to knock myself out of this funk. Get out somewhere fun (and low, low cost!). But I appreciate all the happy thoughts people have wished upon me, even though only one person actually sent a "comment". Some folks that I love just read this blog. They're too lazy to comment. You know who you are. And you know I mean that in the nicest possible way. LOL

Dying Luxury

2008-07-10T06:09:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Wow, it must really be The Summer of Shitting on Pennygather. My 50" TV, which I bought from my best friend's mother for 40,000 pennies 2 years ago or so is dying. It still works, but the picture has become all bendy and distorted. I could call in a repair guy, but I worry that that is just throwing bad money after good.

Anyway, I am in mourning because I have REALLY bad eyesight and it was SUCH a luxury to go from a small TV that I used to have (27") to this big one because I could actually READ the on screen TV guide without having to get up off the couch. And when they play subtitles in movies, I don't have to get up off the couch to read them.

But this is just a luxury, so if it cannot be repaired (I am probably going to break down and pay a repair guy a review fee that might end up being pointless) I will not be able to replace it any time soon. Those big TVs have come down a lot in price, but I still don't have that kind of money.

Between my teeth, this TV and my earlier A/C repair, I just feel like I am being shit on by the Universe. But hey....guess it was just my turn.

Sigh. Sorry to be so whiny the past few posts. I am just really feeling down. In novels (which might be why I write fiction as a hobby!) this would be the part where the beleaguered heroine is just about to give up or go crazy or break down when something really fantastic happens to turn it all around.

Sure wish fiction could be real for once...for me! LOL

First Day Back

2008-07-07T19:33:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I didn't know what to expect going back to work today after a week off. I was sure there'd be work piled upon piles. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was pretty good, actually. But there WERE a lot of emails and there WERE a lot of pieces of postal mail. No voicemail, though, because we set our voicemail so that it will not accept messages in our absence. It just directs people to press a button for the next available representative.

I will be glad, though, when the weekend rolls around again. I know tomorrow will actually be worse than today because I did not receive any new claims today. Tomorrow I am pretty sure they will snowball down on me. Yargh.

On the man front, elevator guy is MIA. I haven't seen him in a LONG time. Meanwhile, a very old, mostly inactive "internet dating account" that I don't have a premium membership on got a hit from a guy in Tempe who emailed me. He was a paid member, so I was able to email him back. We volleyed back and forth, but I was pretty turned off by him. He was so pushy and so "Spanish Inquisition". I mean, sure, I get that you have to do the whole "20 questions by email" thing, but I started to feel like he was working his way down a checklist or something. He never just wrote a normal sentence that wasn't a question, and he didn't tell me anything about himself...just fired questions at me. I played along for the first few emails and then I joked and said to ease up on the 20 questions and tell me something about himself. He kept up the questions, and I answered them, but I kept hinting at him to just make a statement once in a while, and this morning I got an email from him that said he met a girl over the weekend and he wishes me luck.

Yargh again. That's why I stopped internet dating in the first place. They either want to meet you after two emails (too soon in my opinion) or they make it clear they just want sex or they just plain have social issues ( like Spanish Inquisition Man). Am I being too picky? I don't think so. But maybe. Maybe I just don't want to settle, as I have done so often in the past.

Hmm. So much to ponder.

Slow this Mother Down!

2008-07-04T22:19:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card two times in 2008, for truly unavoidable expenses.

Spent: 245,000 pennies. Sigh. My teeth. Dental appt didn't go well. Found out I need 4 crowns. Two for teeth I broke in childhood and had fills, but those fills just aren't doing it anymore. Dentist has been advising me for a long time that I need crowns. Finally did it. So expensive! I feel really discouraged. I've been trying so hard, and I am now officially losing ground (I think) compared to what I've paid off since starting WIRR (which I have slacked off on updating, too.)

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I feel really crappy about the whole dental thing. That really put a damper on my vacation, let me tell you. I feel so poor...which, of course, is when you suddenly get a violent craving to spend money...just go shopping and throw caution to the wind. I haven't given in, of course. But it hurts. It really, really hurts. What's the point of all this austere f***ing living I've been doing if I never get the opposite? The reward seems too distant to mean much. And at this rate, I am never going to get there.

I know they say the more you focus on your lack, the more lack there will be. That HAS to be true, because my whole life so far, there is just never enough and you can never catch up much less achieve better than where you were before. Just a downward f***ing spiral and no brakes to slam on. I hate feeling this way...so hopeless. But there it is. The emergency fund is wiped out (not that there was much to begin with) and the rest had to go on a credit card. Of course. Because I'm just never going to get out of this hole, am I? Something like this dental nightmare will always happen, and I'll be shoved right back to square one (or negative one!)

I just want to give up. At least I got to have a little fun once in a while, before I started trying to dig out of this 7 million plus pennies hole I am in.

Vacation, all I ever wanted....

2008-07-01T07:15:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

So far, on my vacation, I have been a cleaning fool. Don't get me wrong, I am having fun also...but there was just a lot of little things I've been putting off. Like the baseboards in my house are filthy. I don't know how so much dust collects on those tiny little ledges. Or why. Plus, I am purging my life of a lot of useless objects. Some are going to Goodwill, some are just plain trash.

Today, I get a break from all the cleaning and de-cluttering, but not for any great reason. I get to go to the dermatologist for the first time in about 15 years and to the dentist. Yargh. Yay, me. I figure that at 35 years of age, it is time to get a skin checkup, especially out here in the Valley of the Sun. We cook a lot of geese out here. ;)

Anyway, so far my vacation is ok. Played cards with my mother and some gals (girls only card night once a month...I've missed a lot of them...mom was about to disown me!) on Saturday, had a game night with my best friend and her hubby on Sunday (and introduced her to Wii DDR), and yesterday was pretty low key...just cleaning and taking breaks to ride the couch and watch shows I don't get to see when I am at work.

Today, after or between appointments, more of the same. But tomorrow will be more fun because I am going to use my (recent) birthday money to splurge on some new clothes! WHEE!!! I am so excited to get something new!

FREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

It is now the time I've been waiting for since June 1...vacation time!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEE!

A whole week off, stretched lazily before me. Ahhhhhhhhh.
The only danger is spending too much money in all those idle hours. Give me strength!

Can't wait!

2008-06-24T19:01:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I am just biding my time until the weekend. I will be off of work all next week on "vacation" but I am not going anywhere. That's the bummer part, but just not being at work is pretty darn good.

Saw elevator man today, but he was on his cell phone, so we just smiled at each other and waved. Bummer there, too. YARGH.

It seems the forces of the universe will just not line up for me. Sigh. Double sigh. Woe is me and all that.

What You Get (Saturday)

2008-06-22T07:06:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 5,619 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Ok. So I got this cool ad from Albertson's. They had 3 coupons: Get a $25 gift card w/ the transfer of a prescription; Buy $50 worth of food and save $10; and Buy $25 worth of food and save $5. So I grab a prescription that my doctor put me on for a month as a test to see if it would take care of my heartburn. If it did, he said to use it "as needed" after the month. If my heartburn came back constant and full force, to take it every day forever. So he wrote it as a 12 month prescription in case I would need it. I don't. But I figured it would cost less than the $25 gift card w/ my prescription insurance, and besides, the bottle is almost empty and I DID need to refill it so I would have some on hand for those "AS NEEDED" times, so I moseyed on down to Albertson's (which, actually, is my least fave grocery store).

The pharmacist says he doesn't see anything on my insurance card about Rx drugs so it will be 45 minutes or so. Yargh. But I smile gamely and agree. I figure I will get my non-perishables in that 45 minutes. Now, of course, it usually only takes me a few minutes to shop w/ a list because I am very careful to plan things out and not buy stuff that is NOT on the list. But I've been trying to eat more healthfully. My particular focus is on eating less sodium. So I am doing a lot of label reading these days. So it actually DID take me 45 minutes or so.

He kept me waiting another 30 minutes. The insurance co. had him call another service number for my drug benefits company and they kept him waiting forever. Finally, though, he rings me up. $15 for that Rx. Yargh. I hadn't thought it would be that much, but ok. $10 savings, really, if you consider what it just cost me to buy the Rx (even though I would have had to refill it soon enough, anyway).

I had long since finished my shopping, so I headed straight for checkout. I got $91.19 worth of groceries (we're gonna have a bbq next weekend instead of on the 4th...don't ask me why) for $56.19. Not bad. Not bad at all. Except, in terms of wasted time, almost not worth it. Especially not on such a hot day when the store felt like an oven!

NEXT!

2008-06-18T20:52:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Still in a rut. I just want to look up from my life, as if it were a nervous actress flubbing an audition and call out, "NEXT!" If the world worked the way I wished it did, the boring scene would melt away and I'd find myself in some new and fascinating circumstance. But, well, duh. We have to bring about our own "NEXT"s. Which is, of course, the problem.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? I read that question in a book once. One of those cheesy "how to be a huge success" manuals like Who Moved My Cheese? Or maybe it actually was Who Moved My Cheese? At any rate, whatever it was from, it is a great question.

I'd be...God. What would I be? Where would I be? Who would I be?

I can't even begin to answer.

Rut

2008-06-17T05:59:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I am in such a rut. Most of the time, I like my life. And I don't mind the routines we all have. But every now and then it is like I wake up from a long dream and I just feel itchy and discontented. How did I end up here? This wasn't on the map! I need to turn around, get back to the nice road I was on, not this pitted, neverending boring view!

I am so bored with my life right now. Nothing new, nothing (it feels like) to look forward to. I am deeply entrenched in the "thinking about it" stage....you know the one. The one where you are trying to picture yourself in all sorts of different situations. I am considering taking some sort of class, just for fun. I'd like something active, maybe. Like a dance class. Except that always brings back P.E. anxiety. I was always, always picked last for P.E. I am probably the clumsiest person alive. So every time I get the urge to do something active, I lie down until the feeling passes. *GRIN*

Maybe a hobby type class...like pottery or stained glass. But those feel too complicated. It is too hot here to want to do anything complicated.

I'd love to go swimming. I love to swim. LOVE LOVE it. I love it enough that I am willing to stuff my big old body into a swimsuit and risk total humiliation for the chance to swim. Except I hate public pools and I don't have my own...so I rarely get to go. But I really, really want to go swimming. *SIGH*

Yeah. Like I said. In a rut. Too apathetic to rock out of it, too. YARGH. See, this is the downside of living in AZ. You know how people in Seattle and Portland get that Seasonal Affective Disorder from not seeing the sun? We get it here, too, except it's called SUMMER. Too damn hot to do anything, so we content ourselves with thinking about doing things.

Bad luck? Good luck?

2008-06-13T19:16:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 98,178 pennies. Payday.

Banked: 10,000 toward computer savings. (I don't quite have enough for the system I want).

So, today on the way to work a guy in a yellow car in front of me stopped on a dime, so I had to stop on one, too. The lady behind me wasn't so quick and BAM!!!!!!!

I've never been rear-ended before. I've never been in any car accidents before. We weren't going terribly fast, but I was surprised at the strength of the impact. I work in insurance, for crying out loud, but I didn't know what to do next! Adrenaline, I guess. So I put on my hazards and carefully got out of my car into the suicide lane to check the damage.

Imagine my surprise when the scuffs on my rear fender just brushed right off. No dents. No dings. No lasting scratches. I looked. From several angles. I thought sure my car would be crumpled up like an unfortunate can of off-brand veggies at the supermarket going-out-of-business sale. Nope. It was fine. The lady that hit me was apologetic and worried. Was I okay? Was I sure?

I thought about it. I felt fine, but it is established that adrenaline released upon impact can dampen any pain response and a lot of back and neck injuries are masked. But I was still dazed and I wasn't thinking that far ahead at the time. We parted w/o exchanging info. There was no point.

Later, I thought with mild panic about all those stories you read about people pointing blame well after the fact...but I dismissed them. I am in no pain. I am fine, over ten hours later.

Some people would invoke the dreadful power of Friday the 13th and see this event as bad luck. I choose to see it as good luck. No damages! WHEEEE! That's the sort of car accident you WANT to have if you have to have one!

Enemy Mine

2008-06-12T06:19:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I have met the enemy and it is the weather. I said it before in my last post, but I say it again now. I shudder to imagine the week of July 7-11, which will be my first week back after a full week's vacation. While I live for the vacation (not that I'm going anywhere, as previously discussed!) I don't even want to see the pile of work that will await me upon my return. I am already considering cancelling some of the vacation days since I won't really be going anyplace, anyway. But I am on the edge of a major burn out. All this OT is getting to me the same way it did in January when crazy winds knocked down damn near every fence in California!

I must hang on. I must hang on. I must not concern myself with what sort of horrors lie in wait for me after my upcoming vacation. Instead, I must sink into bliss and not look back for a week.

Am I Dead Yet?

2008-06-09T19:16:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Oy. Weather. I hate it. Used to love it. Still do, if it is local to me. But when I hear about the bad storms in the Great Lakes area, or anywhere else but AZ, I cringe. Because all that means is craziness for me. More work. Overtime.

Enough w/ the lightning and power surges already! Get the damn electricity back on in Michigan! Hurry! Before I drown in claims!

Yargh. Foiled again!

2008-06-04T18:50:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 21,790 on my sister's car because she didn't have the money.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

So I guess the Cali/Computer thing was decided for me! I really hate it when I have two good choices and a tough decision....until I suddenly have NO decision...just an empty (or partly empty) wallet. I no longer have enough for a computer, and I no longer think Cali is a good idea. It is money I should be saving so that this crap doesn't happen.

Cold comfort to think that it is better for me to have a small disappointment now rather than a huge one later. Stinks.

DDR

2008-06-04T06:08:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I have a new toy. Wii DDR Hottest Dance Party. There was a little confusion re: the dance pads and where the heck they plug in, but everything is ok now. It is pathetic, though. I have the game on the "very easy" setting since I am new at it, and I still can't get better than a "D". Yargh. How ridiculous am I???? I can't figure whether it just takes time or if I am actually doing something wrong.

Anyone have the Wii DDR? Anyone have any tips?

Decisions, decisions!

2008-06-02T05:45:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Oh, the temptation! One of my favorite comedians will be playing at the Viejas Casino in Alpine, CA, right around my birthday. I am so tempted to take an overnight trip there to see him perform. I've never seen a live comedian, but I have always wanted to. But if I do this the money will have to come from my stimulus, which I have been saving (part of) for a new computer.

What a crappy decision to have to make. To most folks, it might seem easy. Would you rather spend that money on something tangible, with (at least somewhat) lasting value, or do you want to blow (most of it) on a ONE NIGHT trip to California? It should be obvious, but as I am lacking in fun experiences and spontenaiety, it isn't as cut and dried as it would seem to be.

Sigh. Wish I could see the road ahead and know what would be best for me!!!

Switcheroo.

2008-05-30T18:43:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I am happy it is Friday! Why are work weeks so long (even the short ones!) and the weekends so short????! Oh, well. I've got two days stretched out in front of me. No sense feeling the Monday blues yet.

I am trying to figure out a way to reorganize my payment schedule so that my paychecks are not so tight. So far, nothing is coming to me. I'll figure it out, though. Especially now that I have "consolidated". That will make things easier!!!

No sign of Elevator Guy all week. Must have taken it off. Wonder if that means that in spite of the lack of a ring, he's got a "family" somewhere...as in wife and kids. As in family vacation time. Hmmm. We'll see what we see, I guess.

Consolidation

2008-05-28T19:01:00.001-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Even though it is a false victory, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Why? Because I got a good balance transfer offer from CC#1 and moved CC#2 and #3 to it and closed them out. Now all I have is Car pyt, CC#1 and Home equity Loan. Somehow it just feels better...even though technically there's no change to the overall numbers.

:)

BBQ

2008-05-25T23:02:00.001-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Went to a BBQ at my sister's house today. If you want to get technical, she is my stepsister, but we are family, so there aren't any steps as far as I'm concerned. Had a great time...but you know you are getting old when 10:30pm hits and you get too tired to keep having fun and you leave to go home and go to sleep. Yargh.

In fact, I am nearly falling asleep on this entry. I really just popped online to check my email. Seriously, I feel old. And she's only like a year younger than me or so. Maybe two or three. I can't remember. But not a real significant age difference there. And she regularly stays up until the wee hours and gets up early the next day. How does she do it????

Double YAY

2008-05-23T18:51:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Today was a doubly great day. It was Friday coming up on a three-day weekend, which was great all by itself, but it was RAINY and CHILLY right here in (normally) HOT old Phoenix, AZ! It was 69 degrees according to the thermometer in my car (as I was driving home after work). Our normal high temps right now are >90 degrees!! WHEEEE!

I also passed a test for work today that I get bonus money for passing! WHEE! Except, of course, it won't be as much money once the IRS bonus comes out. YARGH. But that's ok. Money is money, and every little bit helps. YAY ME!

Whoops!

2008-05-20T18:58:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I didn't notice until just today that I still had "I have not used a single credit card in 2008" on my post template. I could have sworn I changed that post template to read as above....right after I had to spend that horrible money on my A/C. GRRRRRRR.

Well, y'all know I have. I am too lazy to go back and change all the posts from (I think it was) 4/22 onward, so suffice it to say I've cracked out the CC one time and that's it.

No sign of Elevator Man again. I don't know his last name (to answer Sarah's question!) so I can't e-mail him. Even if I did know, my work is VERY VERY strict about personal email, so I am completely paranoid to send something like that, anyway. I know I will see him again eventually. Just hope when I do it is on a day when I am feeling good! :)

Update

2008-05-17T14:43:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 8,029 pennies. Groceries plus some staples. My stockpile is getting low in the paper products area.
9,399 pennies. Car insurance.
17,652 pennies. Electric bill.

Earned: 97,119 pennies. Payday. Yargh. It comes in, it goes out.

Banked: 4,500 pennies. Should be more, but I had to save out haircut money.

I have not seen Elevator Man since my last post. Like I said, I don't see him but a couple times a week, and that is if I am lucky. That's why I am kicking myself particularly hard.

Oh, well. There's always next week. Nothing else is new.

Doing the dance...

2008-05-14T18:50:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

There's a guy at work I see sometimes on the elevator. He's a round fella (which is ok because I am a round gal!) with a very pleasant smile and a handsome face. We exchange quips about some thing or another. And our time is over way too soon because he works on three and I work on two...and rarely do we meet.

But today I sensed a little something, as if he was nervous...and though it has been a pitifully long time since I was asked to do this crazy dance, I don't think I misunderstood the situation. But I got too shy and he got too shy, and I stepped off the elevator and kicked myself for the rest of the day and hoped he won't just be another "might have been".

Somebody lend me some courage! I am a modern woman, not expecting the guy to make the first move. But I am so afraid I am wrong, and I will feel so darn stupid if I am wrong. And frankly, my self-esteem can't take another hit right now!!!

SOS!

Upside down day

2008-05-12T19:19:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

All I can say about today is that I am glad it is over! It was upside down from the start. Busy, crammed with people who just wanted to pout over legitimate denials of claims. If it isn't covered, I can't just decide to change my mind because you are a nice guy or because you've never had a claim before!!! IT IS WHAT IT IS! Get that through your skulls, meanies!

Ok, I feel better now.

And as for the kind comments to my previous post, Thanks. I know I shouldn't care what anybody thinks. But sometimes you just do.

Mothers day!

2008-05-11T16:34:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 3,500 pennies on Mom's mother's day gift. She wanted a set of double 15 dominoes and a Mexican train set because my sister and I introduced her to Mexican Train, a specific dominoes game.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Do you have someone in your life who makes you feel not good enough? I do. My cousin. We used to be really good friends up until I was in my early twenties and she got married and started having babies and I ...didn't. Her hubby makes a lot of money, and her kids are home-schooled and they do all these exciting things together as a family...trips all over the place, lots of physical activities, etc. We have nothing in common anymore.

At the mother's day celebration at my mom's house today, she was there, and my sister, who doesn't know I am mortified at the thought of my cousin seeing where she and I live together (we share a house), invited her family (they have two young girls) over next Sunday. I don't think they will actually come, but they said they might, and now I am in a total panic because our house isn't clean enough. Frankly, for her standards (my cousin's) it will NEVER be clean enough. I saw growing up how her mother taught her to keep house and her standards are just always going to be higher than mine. So I am ashamed and I don't really want her to come and now I am going to spend all week after work in a frenzy of cleaning and STILL I will be too self-conscious to have fun, wondering what she sees when she looks at my house.

Is that not the saddest, most dysfunction thing you've ever heard? God. I am insane. I should not care what she thinks. I should not let her cause me to wallow in the lowest self-esteem I am capable of, and yet, I can't squash it. There isn't enough Stuart Smalley in the world to help me!

Wonders!

2008-05-09T17:18:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I got 1/2 day off today for that WY adjuster's license exam I mentioned in my last post. I took the other 1/2 day as personal time figuring that I wasn't going to want to show my face at work if I failed it.

Wonders never cease, though! I passed! WOOOOHOOO! I have NO idea how that happened, but I am grateful.

My sister, who has Fridays off work all the time, took me out to a movie and dinner to celebrate. Well, not really. She just wanted to go and she had free gift cards for the movies and decided to pay for my meal just because. Don'tcha love it when that happens???? I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Mystery Files

2008-05-07T18:55:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Still no sign of the mystery file, but we have a viable lead now: the department manager may have it. WHEW. Until or unless they tell me he doesn't have it after all, I feel better. For now.

I have a test coming up on Friday to get my Wyoming adjuster's license. Sounds silly since I am in AZ, why would I need a WY adj license? Because we work claims from all over the country. I think I've mentioned this before. Anyway, I am VERY not ready for it and DON'T want to take it and DON'T think I will pass it...and how humiliating will that be at work!?

Gaslight

2008-05-06T18:48:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

There's this old movie called Gaslight where the female lead is married to this horrible, sadistic jerk who makes her think she is losing her mind as he searches and searches her home for jewels. That way, he can do suspicious things and no one will believe her when she tries to complain.

I feel like I am that woman. I am missing a claim file (not such a big deal because everything is also on the computer, but still!) and I could SWEAR my boss had it last to review it and now I can't find it anywhere. I've searched my file cabinet drawers, my desk top, my desk drawers, everywhere. It is just gone. And it CAN'T just be gone, because there's nowhere for it to GO. It would be on my desk, as I don't go wandering with files. In fact, my boss sits on the other side of a cubicle wall from me, and she and I just balance files on that wall for each other rather than do the un-lazy thing and WALK them over to each other. So I NEVER leave my immediate desk area with a file.

Yargh. I think it is a conspiracy to make me feel nuts. If so, mission accomplished.

Sunday Blues

2008-05-04T13:34:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 1800 pennies on my Rx meds. Yargh.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I hate how every Sunday I spend half the day just dreading Monday. What a waste of time that is, yet I can't seem NOT to do it.

No matter how much vacation time I have, I always want more! And I don't have any coming up now until the last week of June. SIGH.

Friday Notes

2008-05-03T06:24:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 45,400 pennies, car pyt. 17,652 pennies, electric bill

Earned: 98,552 pennies. Payday

Banked: 0 pennies *Yet* I plan to xfer some of the payday into savings but haven't done it yet. Should do it first, but I am always scared I won't have enough to pay my bills.

Today, work was slow but there were rough moments. I hate denying coverage to people, but sometimes, it just isn't there. Sometimes, you pay and you pay and you pay into your insurance policies, and you get nothing back. That's just how it works. I didn't create that system. And it is a sucky system, really, when you view it from that angle. But if insurance didn't exist at all, and you NEVER had any chance of help with disasters, what then? I bet you'd be glad insurance existed!

Anyway, I had a guy who owns a small store right here in my home state. During regular business hours, some monster with a gun entered and fatally shot his business partner, who (unusually, I am told) was the only person on site at the time. Police shut the business down for a week or two to process the crime scene and investigate, and when they finally cleared the area for good, they took some of his equipment with them, like surveillance items and a cash register, etc. He was hurting for money because of a situation completely beyond his control. But I had to deny the claim, because there is a specific policy exclusion for seizure or destruction of equipment by governmental authority. And the police are a governmental authority.

That was hard. The exclusion is intended to prevent insurance companies from bankrolling criminals...the idea being that if your stuff is being seized by the government, more often than not, it is because you did something wrong, like embezzlement or tax evasion or what not. But sometimes the innocent get hurt. Of course, due to my fraud investigation background (from a former job) I am suspicious by nature, and it occurred to me, however briefly, that there is always a possibility of other angles here. Maybe this guy had a hefty life insurance policy on his partner and arranged the shooting to obtain that windfall. It was certainly strange that on this rare occasion that his partner was alone someone walked in and shot him but didn't rob the store. Don't you think? Of course, there is every possibility that robbery was the intent but the gunman got itchy, shot the guy, and left in a panic before completing the crime. But police found a weapon tucked into the waistband of the partner's pants with no evidence that that weapon had been reached for or fired.

Maybe I should have called this story "Things That Make you Go Hmmmmm".

Super slo-mo

2008-04-30T18:07:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Nothing all that noteworthy happened today. Work was quiet. I spent my lunch calculating and recalculating ways to apply my rebate check to my debts, or whether to buy the new computer that I wanted with my actual tax return but somehow never got...and the tax refund money dribbled slowly out of my account. GRRRR.

I have been more lax at the grocery store, that is one problem. And there are a few other little leaks that caused my tax refund to just drip out slowly. Sigh. One step forward, two steps back. But at least I am not running backwards at a freakish pace anymore. *GRIN*

M.I.A.

2008-04-29T18:01:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

My work buddy is going to be out on leave for carpal tunnel surgery. Today was her last day. I can't imagine getting through the next several weeks w/o her! She is my rock! She is a constant source of help when I get stuck on a claim! She is my ear when I need to vent! ARGH!
Come back soon!

The Day the Music (Almost) Died

2008-04-28T18:10:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

If you ever saw me during my commute to work, you'd point and laugh and call all your friends on your cell to tell them about the crazy fat lady in the big, blue car who belts out the tunes in her car. I don't just SORT of sing. I full out head bop and fully enunciate. None of that under the breath business. My car is my new shower.

Except for this morning. I was devastated! My iPod froze up and I thought it was dead forever, stuck, oddly enough, on Sara McLachlan's 'Ordinary Miracle', which is one of the only slower tunes on the darned thing. It's not that I don't have FM radio. I do. I even have Satellite until this July when my free year expires. But it's not my music, and there are so many interruptions (at least w/ FM) that I don't like listening to them. I just want uninterrupted, fantastic music of my own choosing. And I had nothing. I had to listen to Blue Collar Radio, which wasn't bad but wasn't as lovely.

Tonight, when I got into my car and pulled my iPod out of my purse to check on it, it was mysteriously working again, although the battery needs charging.

Girl time!

2008-04-27T17:08:00.003-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I am soooo tired! Once a month, my sis and I and my best friend meet to scrapbook. Although we are all adults, we all really liked the movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" (and, truth be known, I liked the books, too!). So my best friend got this idea to do "Sisterhood of the Traveling Ring" in which she completely ripped off the movie/book (not for profit, so please don't send the copyright police her way!) and gave us each an empty scrapbook for Xmas. She basically made it so that we each got the ring for 4 months and had to document in the scrapbook one event of each month...good, bad, happy, sad, whatever. So we don't have the traditional fru-fru sugar and spice sort of flowery scrapbooks. We have deaths, job changes, frustrations, and so forth.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun this month. We pigged out, as we tend to do when we're together (so, thankfully it IS only once per month!) and we laughed ourselves silly.

You can never discount or take for granted the power of female friendship.

Bless all the females who read this blog! I'm so pleased to have you along for the ride! (Also bless the males, but I so seldom hear from them!)

Another day.

2008-04-24T21:00:00.001-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

Blocked. I've literally got nothing to say. No clever words. No insightful ponderings. Just....nothing.

Enjoy the void.

Time Flies!

2008-04-22T18:05:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have used a credit card one time in 2008, for a true emergency.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0pennies

Banked:0 pennies

I have continued licking my wounds. I'm still annoyed that I had to whip out a credit card for that stupid A/C repair. And even more annoyed that I had to change my template because of it. :)
But life goes on.
I just had the busiest weekend! Saturday I borrowed my mom's rug shampooer and slaved away until my whole body ached. But my carpet looks pretty good. Better than it has in a long while!

Sunday I went to the annual Phoenix Women's Expo, and it sucked. It has really gone downhill over the past few years, and this year the place was like a ghost town! The booths were boring and too repetitive and ...I don't know....just not as much fun as it used to be. Is it the economy, or have I changed in some way that I didn't recognize? I'm not sure.

Monday I had a day off...and I did not do much. And it felt good. Very nice. Except it made me want more of doing nothing. GRRRR.

Defeat! :(

2008-04-19T19:28:00.002-07:00

The Log

Spent: 154,713 pennies. See below. :(

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

If you look closely at this post, you will see something missing from it.

I was forced to break out my credit card today, and I am now in mourning.

The EF just didn't have enough money in it, so I didn't bother tapping into it.

It is, after all, the greater Phoenix area, and my Air Conditioner condenser died. Sigh.
Boy, those puppies are expensive to repair! I had no idea!! YARGH!!

So, even though I had a good run, I feel that I have completely lost all the ground I have gained. I haven't, of course, but I am much higher. Much.

Sigh. Will I ever be less than 7 million pennies in debt??

Friday! WHOO HOO!

2008-04-18T18:40:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 2,297 trying out the new "Pasta Hut" Chix Alfredo. Pretty tasty! Also got some Cajun Wings.

Earned: 97,747 pennies. Payday. oy.

Banked: 0 pennies yet.

Busy day, happy now that it is over and the weekend has begun. Don't feel like saying much tonight. But for my kind regulars, THANKS for ALL your support. It means a lot!

Dutch Sevens

2008-04-17T18:20:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

If you've ever worked in an environment where everyone is in "cubes", you know what I mean when I say there was a pointless detour today. It's one of those funny moments where someone gets picked on (all in good fun, mind you) for some silly thing, and the whole floor goes off topic.

Here we are, working claim files, and suddenly Alex (name changed to protect the innocent) is getting all sorts of flack because someone thinks the claim # he wrote down looks like one thing, and he says it is another. The boss is harping on him (in a joking way) because Alex insists that she should have been able to read his claim number. He uses dutch sevens, which is when you put a little line through your seven so that it sort of resembles a backward "F". And his argument was that, clearly, since the number SHE thought was a seven was not crossed, it was not a seven. And that became the private joke of the day. Every so often, at random, someone would pipe up, "No cross, no seven!"

It'll become the catchphrase of the year at work, I bet.

Maybe you had to be there.

Adrift

2008-04-16T18:04:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

I lived in a fog of too little sleep. Sometimes I live mostly in my head anyway, because I am a fiction writer (my true heart's passion, as opposed to the claims adjusting I do to pay the bills!). There are characters and plot lines swirling around in there all the time, and sometimes I do really embarrassing things like get caught talking to myself while I am walking down the halls at work, or shopping at the grocery store. I swear, people must think I am downright certifiable sometimes! What I am really doing, if you must know, is running dialogue between my characters. Sometimes it gets pretty heated, and that's when I will start to physically react and look really stupid to the outside world.

Just imagine being stuck in that place ALL day...or, at least, every time you stepped away from your desk at work. Within seconds, my mind would shift to that vivid filmstrip that runs in my head, and I would be lost to all but my thoughts. Yargh. It's a wonder I make it home alive each night, the way my mind wanders!

How does this keep happening??!

2008-04-14T17:52:00.001-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 0 pennies

Earned: 0pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

How does this keep happening? Where the heck do all these Mondays come from? I swear, it feels like there are 2 per week lately! Yargh!

I'm not done. I'm never done anymore. I should just camp out at work and save the gas.

Yesterday...4/12/08

2008-04-13T06:41:00.002-07:00

The Log
I have not used a single credit card in 2008.

Spent: 6,425 pennies. Over the grocery budget. I really need to get this under control. Thankfully, with my tax return money still unspent (never did buy that new computer I wanted) I had padding in my checking account and didn't need to use a credit card. But the point is, I don't want to waste ALL of my computer money on stupid stuff like grocery/sundry items.

Earned: 0 pennies

Banked: 0 pennies

It is starting to get warm in Phoenix, which I hate. I know, I know. I live in the wrong place if I don't like my weather too warm. But I was born here, and everyone I know is here, and even though I really want to leave and find someplace cooler, I am terrified to actually do that because I wouldn't have work, wouldn't know anyone, and, frankly, I wouldn't know WHERE to go. Plus, I've never driven in snow, so...where IS there to go that has great weather all year round (summers of max 80 to 85 degrees) but is AFFORDABLE?

California is out, though their weather is BEAUTIFUL...because you can't afford to actually LIVE there. People tell me all the time how wonderful Colorado Springs is, and while I agree it DOES sound lovely overall, they also get quite a lot of snow (or so I am told).

So every year as things start heating up again (and, no, of course it isn't truly HOT yet...) I start to feel a horrible dread and dismay about the furnace to come. And that is when I get dissatisfied about my progress w/ my debts (because who can afford to take a risk like a major move when they are in debt up to their eyeballs??!) and my life in general.

But I will survive this. And some day, hopefully, I will look back on this from someplace gorgeous and I will be able to laugh about the horrible summers I got through.

7 Million Pennies

Forgotten

Even Longer Absence

Long Absence

The Wrench

Feelin HOT HOT HOT

Short Term Goals

Distraction

#*$*@&!&

Dark Shadows?

Mi Vida Loca

The Ex Files

Thoughts on Fraud

OOPS...I forgot to post again!

Poor Ethics Award to: CVS Drugstores

Payday

Good Luck!

TAXES DUE...PAY HALF YOUR SALARY

Yikes AGAIN!

WHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEE!

By Request

State of the Pennygather Address

When will it end????

Happy New Year

Post Holiday Blues

Closer, closer

Yikes!

BACKLOG!!

Thankful

August Rush

SLOW DOWN!

Feels Good!

Anti-Climactic

Budgeting Food

Broke. Dead broke!

The Rush

Fairy Dust

Possession

Saving Face (this is for Saturday)

Time Flies

Tuckered Out!

I'm Free!!!!!!!

January Revisited

WHEE!

YICK

Delightful!

Oh, MAN!

FREE!

Time Does Fly

Feast or Famine

Mamma Mia!

Another Week Flies By

Paid and Gone

Again with the Mondays

Lagging and Dragging

Forgotten

Dripping

WHOOOPS

Dental

Friday, at last.

Dying Luxury

First Day Back

Slow this Mother Down!

Vacation, all I ever wanted....

FREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait!

What You Get (Saturday)

NEXT!

Rut

Bad luck? Good luck?

Enemy Mine

Am I Dead Yet?

Yargh. Foiled again!

DDR

Decisions, decisions!

Switcheroo.

Consolidation

BBQ

Double YAY

Whoops!

#$@&!&